It's now been a year since Bill moved out - Feb. 7, 2015. A lot has gone on in that time. Apparently he remarried a few months after the divorce was final, to someone he just met, so I guess he got over me pretty fast and that proved to everyone what I told them about his insanity. One of my sisters told me she was surprised when he left me because I was the only one who loved him and made him "somewhat normal". I should probably add that he went crazy in Dec. 2013 as well, and he moved out and I let him come back about 3 months later - big mistake!
I feel like I have peace in my life for the first time in about 5 years. One of my boys told me that I wasn't "me" when I was with Bill, and he's right. I was always on edge when we were with my kids because later I would have to defend what they did and said. It was the same with my family and friends. And with them I had to try to explain Bill's strange behavior. I'm lonely, but I was lonely with him in the room too, and I don't have to put up with the crazy behavior, emotional abuse and stupid financial decisions.
I'm singing in my community choir, and I joined the Methodist church in November and sing in their choir too. I also joined a women's group at church and have the most wonderful friends there that I can share my joys and sorrows with no judgment. I have a large group of friends from all the different facets of my life, so I consider myself lucky.
My family has been amazing. 2 of my brothers have been here and helped me with things around the house. Mom and I think they should come every few months to help both of us with our Honey Do lists since we have no "Honeys" to "do" them. 4 of my 6 siblings, a brother-in-law and my oldest son, Christopher, visited in December to help celebrate Mom's birthday and we had such a great time. In September I went to Oahu with 2 of my friends from the law firm and we are planning more trips. I'm also looking forward to going home to Montana this summer.
I've found there are some things around here that I can't manage alone. A friend's husband had to help me get a bike tire off - turns out I needed a metric wrench which I didn't have. He also helped me jump the battery on Mom's car when it died. The guys at the pawn shop have been great too. They've given me some tools for free, and taken a lot of old junk off my hands. I reciprocate by taking them goodies that I bake but don't want to eat. Nick helped me hang a ceiling fan and wash windows, Myron and Marty put up my Christmas tree and a friend of my sister's and her husband helped take it down, and there are some things have to just wait until I can figure it out. I really need a pickup truck and a saws-all (I don't even know if that's how you spell it but I know what to do with it), but that will come in time.
Oh yes, about my last name. For now it is still Elliott. I didn't go back to Redfield because my Mom and I have the same first name and when I was growing up it was confusing for everyone. I actually had people ask me if I was Sylvia Jr! Don't they know that women aren't Jr's? I thought about going back to Graham so I'd have the same last name as my kids, but that would mean a conversation with their father, and we haven't talked since about 1998 so that might be awkward. Christopher wants me to change it to Skywalker so he can say he's really the son of a Jedi - hmmmm, maybe....
So to all my family and friends out there, thanks for being there for me. I appreciate you all!
